its times like this i really hate the organization. layers of bureaucracy, forms, statements, and emails. By trying to make ourselves more organised, we've created a system whereby half the people don't understand what's going on.

Those who understand procedure ultimately lose it because it becomes too time consuming, those who don't understand in the first place make problems for the rest who do and don't follow it anyway.

Favours are more important than paperwork. Its more important that i know you so that i can get things from you so that i can screw over the other guy who has followed procedure but im not familiar with.

the system by itself has also become somewhat biased, if i work hard, i get more work. if i don't do my job and screw up, chances are i get less work because people are afraid i'll screw up and i still wont lose my job. so seems like screwing up everything is the way to go, but i just cannot live that way.

its times like these that i suddenly feel more alone than ever, as much as i wish there was someone close to ease my worries, i've come to realise that real life doesn't happen that way. Though it's nice to have someone to tell me it's alright, ultimately i will become more and more reliant.

so many fears, so many worries, so different from the image i always seem to project. i fear i have too many weaknesses.

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference" -beliefnet

i seriously agree with u bro and trust me , i know what's u talking bout.
» (165.21.154.115) on 2007-01-14 07:22:48

thanks
» Koban on 2007-01-19 10:57:59

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